Avatar is a film that tries to be too clever. Much like The Matrix, Avatar revolves around humans entering a world in virtual bodies (hence the 3D experience) in order to run tests on alien habitats and communicate with the locals. This is very much established in the first thirty minutes of the film but what is to follow in the next two hours is edited (to be more precise not edited) in a way that leaves the viewer waiting for the credits to roll. The effects of mass deforestation caused by an oafish army general are laid out whilst romance of the mudblood kind happens between wheelchair hero Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) and Neytiri (Zoe Saldana).
It is at this point in the review that one might assume the phrase “mass deforestation” means Al Gore had something to do with the production of Avatar. Not true. It is in fact James Cameron, who having already wasted vast amounts of money in the past on Titanic, directs what he would probably describe as an “intelligent interpretation” of Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth. Instead Avatar is a dumbed down version of Gore’s Oscar winning documentary as portrayed by “blow shit up” extraordinaire Colonel Miles Quadritch.
Avatar plays as a pieced together action/adventure story packaged with an environmental warning for the future advertisement. Cameron as a result of clumsily illustrating the effects of deforestation highlights the ineptness of the Army in the film (made to retreat by blue people with spears!?!?). The wrong parallels can certainly be made between the film and real life and whilst the script isn’t necessarily dreadful, the acting definitely is.
No matter how big the budget is of any film, if the acting is bad it remains bad and this is directly aimed at lead Sam Worthington. An ex-army man torn between helping scientists and his army compadres, Worthington’s inexperience tells when it is most needed after he finds romance. Maybe he should have taken acting lessons off of Chris Pine who knows a thing or two about anonymous leads starring in big blockbusters a la Star Trek.
One could argue that the plot and dialogue is irrelevant when the viewers can be wowed by all the colour and beauty of a mystical world in 3D. As a linguist myself I do marvel at the morphological and phonological features of this alien language. Yet this film, for all its hype and budget, fails to be an innovation in film making and is more like an extended recording of someone entering World Of Warcraft. A sight myself and not many other people want to see.
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Friday, 25 September 2009
Modernizing The iBeatles
It’s 2006, Friday night, at the pub, huddled around a table, the mood is tense and the next question of the General Knowledge round of the pub quiz has just been announced. “What are the three biggest bands that are not currently on iTunes?” bellows the bartender. Everyone at my table looks around cluelessly at each other utterly stumped. Fifteen minutes later the answer is revealed aloud to us: Radiohead, Led Zeppelin and The Beatles.
It’s 2009 and only one of those bands is still not on the biggest legal music library (and it isn’t one of the first two).
For all of the multi-platinum selling albums, the Fab Four have still sold zero legal downloads and it is a telling sign to their today listeners that, after nearly forty years on from their last new release of material, the band are aging. So much so that their fans would probably be more aptly described as yesterday’s listeners rather than today’s. And it is this chasm between the two that has hindered the chances of The Beatles morphing from teenage heart throbs to wise and fashionable elders.
As a result McCartney, Ringo, Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison have leveled with today’s listeners and gamers and commissioned the release of the video game Beatles: Rockband as well as all thirteen remastered studio albums. It is a facelift that would put the likes of Jordan and Kerry Katona to shame for it commemorates the realization of a generation gap. Electronic, plastic guitars have replaced electric ones and dad’s dusty vinyl player sits in the loft untouched. Instead iPods assert the MP3’s status over records, cassettes and even compact discs which have all been pushed to extinction.
This has left The Beatles to slowly adapt to their new technologically enhanced environment by themselves like in a David Attenborough nature documentary. Scurrying around the soil finding new and exciting means to survive, and it is in this forest that game consoles run wild and now live in harmony with various insects. There
is no denying that, on release, these two entities will deepen The Beatle’s canon but can they evolve it?
There is that sinking feeling that whilst Beatles: Rockband is taking two steps forward, the remastered CD’s are just another step back. A triumph for tangible products everywhere it maybe, sound engineers who worked on the remastering process would hark on about being thankful for what you get. An acknowledgement that perhaps the feud between Apple Corps and the remaining Beatles (and remain partners) is ruining their best chances of new era popularity on iTunes.
However the mp3 format isn’t for everyone. Sgt Peppers is technically a concept album and it is hard to see how parts of The White Album (Wild Honey Pie is just 53 seconds long) and Abbey Road (especially side 2) can work as single track downloads. The same goes with the tracklist on Rockband. There are only a couple off of Revolver (arguably their best LP) as all of its tracks have such complexity that it cannot be restricted to just a plugin & play drum kit, two guitars and a bass. The production of any Beatles record is just as, if not more, important than the performers.
“Make us sound like were underwater” famously asked John Lennon of producer George Martin when recording Yellow Submarine. Such acid heavy, LSD inspired sessions involving band and Abbey Road engineers (labcoats and all) have almagamated everything from three-part harmonies (all of Please Please Me), to backward guitars (Tomorrow Never Knows) and even orchestral pop (Eleanor Rigby). The fact that these songs are four decades old and still popular proves that no matter what product, design or format those four lovable Liverpudlians take it is their songs that has and will make them that unreachable pinnacle of music.
It’s 2009 and only one of those bands is still not on the biggest legal music library (and it isn’t one of the first two).
For all of the multi-platinum selling albums, the Fab Four have still sold zero legal downloads and it is a telling sign to their today listeners that, after nearly forty years on from their last new release of material, the band are aging. So much so that their fans would probably be more aptly described as yesterday’s listeners rather than today’s. And it is this chasm between the two that has hindered the chances of The Beatles morphing from teenage heart throbs to wise and fashionable elders.
As a result McCartney, Ringo, Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison have leveled with today’s listeners and gamers and commissioned the release of the video game Beatles: Rockband as well as all thirteen remastered studio albums. It is a facelift that would put the likes of Jordan and Kerry Katona to shame for it commemorates the realization of a generation gap. Electronic, plastic guitars have replaced electric ones and dad’s dusty vinyl player sits in the loft untouched. Instead iPods assert the MP3’s status over records, cassettes and even compact discs which have all been pushed to extinction.
This has left The Beatles to slowly adapt to their new technologically enhanced environment by themselves like in a David Attenborough nature documentary. Scurrying around the soil finding new and exciting means to survive, and it is in this forest that game consoles run wild and now live in harmony with various insects. There
is no denying that, on release, these two entities will deepen The Beatle’s canon but can they evolve it?
There is that sinking feeling that whilst Beatles: Rockband is taking two steps forward, the remastered CD’s are just another step back. A triumph for tangible products everywhere it maybe, sound engineers who worked on the remastering process would hark on about being thankful for what you get. An acknowledgement that perhaps the feud between Apple Corps and the remaining Beatles (and remain partners) is ruining their best chances of new era popularity on iTunes.
However the mp3 format isn’t for everyone. Sgt Peppers is technically a concept album and it is hard to see how parts of The White Album (Wild Honey Pie is just 53 seconds long) and Abbey Road (especially side 2) can work as single track downloads. The same goes with the tracklist on Rockband. There are only a couple off of Revolver (arguably their best LP) as all of its tracks have such complexity that it cannot be restricted to just a plugin & play drum kit, two guitars and a bass. The production of any Beatles record is just as, if not more, important than the performers.
“Make us sound like were underwater” famously asked John Lennon of producer George Martin when recording Yellow Submarine. Such acid heavy, LSD inspired sessions involving band and Abbey Road engineers (labcoats and all) have almagamated everything from three-part harmonies (all of Please Please Me), to backward guitars (Tomorrow Never Knows) and even orchestral pop (Eleanor Rigby). The fact that these songs are four decades old and still popular proves that no matter what product, design or format those four lovable Liverpudlians take it is their songs that has and will make them that unreachable pinnacle of music.
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Street Children: The Forgotten Generation [FAILED competition entry]
Nelson Mandela once said that “education is the most powerful weapon with which you can use to change the world”. In the U.K. teaching is the beating heart of society where acceptable cultural attitudes are learnt by children who are pumped through primary to secondary school and many on to university.
In the classroom, the pressure of parents for their sons and daughters to do well is high and national benefactors like the government are equally keen to see struggling institutions do well. The pampering of many state schools with equipment ranging from chemistry textbooks to electronic whiteboards is seen as the ideal solution.
With such luxuries and indulgences, the education system in the U.K. should be in a rosy state of affairs. However the smell of new science textbooks and the gloss of electronic whiteboards have now been smeared by rapidly accumulating “sticky” affairs in the media.
Teacher unions are clashing on the validity of SATs whilst universities, like Oxford, are skeptical about the implementation of the “super” A* grade in A-Levels in 2010. It suggests there is much confusion surrounding what children should be learning on their way to that coveted university place or wanted apprenticeship.
So when a continent doesn’t have the ability to pluck prospective teachers from a conveyor belt of graduates fresh out of their degrees, or a contingency plan to fall back on, many of Africa’s children have been shunned into the wilderness of the streets, deprived of shelter, education and a way of life.
Cramped, disgusting, unsafe, homeless, diseased, there are many adjectives to describe conditions that UNICEF estimates around 10 million street children live with each day in Africa. One of these is Josephine Agbi Accra who lives in KonKomba (a shanty town), Ghana, a place notorious for prostitution and violence. An orphan, Josephine was found by a fieldworker of Street Child Africa, pregnant to a child whose father had left her to fend for herself. Josephine’s situation is all too common amongst street children in Africa where education is still widely viewed as a privilege not a right.
In the North West Province of South Africa, children are “privileged” to walk 4 hours a day from high in the Magaliesberg Mountains down to the major city of Rustenberg to get to school and back. The idea of bus transportation is alien to them and by dusk the dusty roads are commandeered by rapists looking to pick up innocent schoolgirls walking home. There is no free bus pass issued to anyone outside a 3 mile radius by the council as in my home county.
Instead local governments are often corrupt with greedy politicians looking to boost their own income at the expense of helping others. This leaves many schools in a sorry state of affairs, with many overcrowded, built from poor quality materials and lacking the basic sanitary requirements. Although it would be a mistake to overlook the impact of NGOs (non-governmental organizations), it is hard to assist an entire continent when there are an estimated 21 million children of primary school age living in sub Saharan Africa alone.
Many of the street children not being found by charities like Street Child Africa are inadvertently becoming part of a forgotten generation in a continent where neglect is all too familiar. Mariama from Maputo, Mozambique is 8 years old and already the sole guardian of her 3 younger siblings – one of which is still a baby. The person, who found her on the street, acknowledges that without foreign aid, these children will forever remain invisible to the rest of the world.
There is a desperate need for the emergence of a new-age Africa to rise from the shadows to promote education as an entity everyone is entitled to; regardless of color, race or gender. Charities like UNICEF are making inroads by promoting non-formal education in villages like Konovohogho, Côte d’Ivoire.
This method of teaching enables children to sandwich school between raising crops and looking after livestock in the morning and evening. All materials and teacher training are provided for by UNICEF in the hope many of the children continue onto higher education once their basic literacy skills have been acquired.
This is why ActionAid UK dubs them as the “feeder schools of Africa” that have the biggest impact in countries with the worst literacy rates. The major benefit of non-formal education is that children can adjust their timetables depending on how productive the agricultural season is. In the drier months children can devote more time to schooling whilst during the wetter periods more time can be spent on the farmland.
However one criticism of non-formal education is that it is over reliant on its sole major sponsor: worldwide charity. There is much debate as to whether the global recession is enough to hinder a person’s good nature to donate money to charity. Africa’s problem is that it is dependent on foreign aid much like a young child is attached to its mother. However where it takes years for an infant to learn responsibility, for Africa it is taking decades.
According to the Right To Education Project website, street children are highly concentrated in countries with struggling economies. In the past this would have described countries in the third world but now, in a recession hit era, it can account for others such as the U.K. Don’t let the new textbooks and electronic whiteboards deceive you, the U.K. is heading towards darker days for education. If various affairs aren’t sorted out soon then street children shall perhaps become a more familiar term closer to home.
In the classroom, the pressure of parents for their sons and daughters to do well is high and national benefactors like the government are equally keen to see struggling institutions do well. The pampering of many state schools with equipment ranging from chemistry textbooks to electronic whiteboards is seen as the ideal solution.
With such luxuries and indulgences, the education system in the U.K. should be in a rosy state of affairs. However the smell of new science textbooks and the gloss of electronic whiteboards have now been smeared by rapidly accumulating “sticky” affairs in the media.
Teacher unions are clashing on the validity of SATs whilst universities, like Oxford, are skeptical about the implementation of the “super” A* grade in A-Levels in 2010. It suggests there is much confusion surrounding what children should be learning on their way to that coveted university place or wanted apprenticeship.
So when a continent doesn’t have the ability to pluck prospective teachers from a conveyor belt of graduates fresh out of their degrees, or a contingency plan to fall back on, many of Africa’s children have been shunned into the wilderness of the streets, deprived of shelter, education and a way of life.
Cramped, disgusting, unsafe, homeless, diseased, there are many adjectives to describe conditions that UNICEF estimates around 10 million street children live with each day in Africa. One of these is Josephine Agbi Accra who lives in KonKomba (a shanty town), Ghana, a place notorious for prostitution and violence. An orphan, Josephine was found by a fieldworker of Street Child Africa, pregnant to a child whose father had left her to fend for herself. Josephine’s situation is all too common amongst street children in Africa where education is still widely viewed as a privilege not a right.
In the North West Province of South Africa, children are “privileged” to walk 4 hours a day from high in the Magaliesberg Mountains down to the major city of Rustenberg to get to school and back. The idea of bus transportation is alien to them and by dusk the dusty roads are commandeered by rapists looking to pick up innocent schoolgirls walking home. There is no free bus pass issued to anyone outside a 3 mile radius by the council as in my home county.
Instead local governments are often corrupt with greedy politicians looking to boost their own income at the expense of helping others. This leaves many schools in a sorry state of affairs, with many overcrowded, built from poor quality materials and lacking the basic sanitary requirements. Although it would be a mistake to overlook the impact of NGOs (non-governmental organizations), it is hard to assist an entire continent when there are an estimated 21 million children of primary school age living in sub Saharan Africa alone.
Many of the street children not being found by charities like Street Child Africa are inadvertently becoming part of a forgotten generation in a continent where neglect is all too familiar. Mariama from Maputo, Mozambique is 8 years old and already the sole guardian of her 3 younger siblings – one of which is still a baby. The person, who found her on the street, acknowledges that without foreign aid, these children will forever remain invisible to the rest of the world.
There is a desperate need for the emergence of a new-age Africa to rise from the shadows to promote education as an entity everyone is entitled to; regardless of color, race or gender. Charities like UNICEF are making inroads by promoting non-formal education in villages like Konovohogho, Côte d’Ivoire.
This method of teaching enables children to sandwich school between raising crops and looking after livestock in the morning and evening. All materials and teacher training are provided for by UNICEF in the hope many of the children continue onto higher education once their basic literacy skills have been acquired.
This is why ActionAid UK dubs them as the “feeder schools of Africa” that have the biggest impact in countries with the worst literacy rates. The major benefit of non-formal education is that children can adjust their timetables depending on how productive the agricultural season is. In the drier months children can devote more time to schooling whilst during the wetter periods more time can be spent on the farmland.
However one criticism of non-formal education is that it is over reliant on its sole major sponsor: worldwide charity. There is much debate as to whether the global recession is enough to hinder a person’s good nature to donate money to charity. Africa’s problem is that it is dependent on foreign aid much like a young child is attached to its mother. However where it takes years for an infant to learn responsibility, for Africa it is taking decades.
According to the Right To Education Project website, street children are highly concentrated in countries with struggling economies. In the past this would have described countries in the third world but now, in a recession hit era, it can account for others such as the U.K. Don’t let the new textbooks and electronic whiteboards deceive you, the U.K. is heading towards darker days for education. If various affairs aren’t sorted out soon then street children shall perhaps become a more familiar term closer to home.
Friday, 4 September 2009
Transformers 2 Movie Review
In terms of film making when there is someone like Martin Campbell (Casion Royale) or J.J. Abrams (Star Trek) to inject a tired series with a sharp shock of brilliance then there is always going to be someone else who embodies the complete antithesis.
A grave digger, er, director like Joel Schumacher able to hammer the final nails into a franchises coffin. Batman and nipple plated battle suits, James Bond and shaken martinis, there have been many fallen heroes resurrected by the powers of film.
Special effect have played an integral part of this and none more so that in Michael Bay films. A name synonymous with carnage, Bay has already obliterated New York City and H-bombed Nagasaki on his resumee. He blows shit up and Transformers 2 is no different.
The film continues in the same vein as the first, with Shia Le Boeuf and Megan Fox reprising their roles as the love-struck couple struggling to cope with the norms of long distance relationships. Scenes of leaving home and first days at university are blended with themes of destruction.
Le Boeuf and Fox play their parts as if the film were a comedy to increase their likability to the audience. Lacking the ruggedness of a Bruce Willis and the looks of a Brad Pitt, Le Boeuf is comfortable playing the nerdy teenager. This is highlighted by his objection to Einstein's theory of relativity whilst in a physics lectures. Nevertheless the film's real stars are the Transformers themselves.
Optimus Prime returns with all the other oddly shaped and sized machines to provide big battles in bigger locations. No environment is too safe from oblivion and after ruining space, Japan and Ben Affleck's acting career, Egypt is the prime location for Bay to bl0ow shit up.
Along with the U.S. Marines (fronted by Josh Duhmal and Tyrese Gibson), the action is relentless on the viewer. Jumping from location to location, critics suggest that 2 and a half hours is too long for a film that lacks emotional depth. However Bay is merely excersing his right to exploit every angle, trick and sound available before the movie ends.
There is no emphasis on plot nor is there space for memorable acting performances. It's a tribute to an era of special effects no longer hampered by pieces of string hanging from above or painted scenery of the 60's. Transformers 2 is a guaranteed action packed evening at the cinema with definitely no strings attached.
A grave digger, er, director like Joel Schumacher able to hammer the final nails into a franchises coffin. Batman and nipple plated battle suits, James Bond and shaken martinis, there have been many fallen heroes resurrected by the powers of film.
Special effect have played an integral part of this and none more so that in Michael Bay films. A name synonymous with carnage, Bay has already obliterated New York City and H-bombed Nagasaki on his resumee. He blows shit up and Transformers 2 is no different.
The film continues in the same vein as the first, with Shia Le Boeuf and Megan Fox reprising their roles as the love-struck couple struggling to cope with the norms of long distance relationships. Scenes of leaving home and first days at university are blended with themes of destruction.
Le Boeuf and Fox play their parts as if the film were a comedy to increase their likability to the audience. Lacking the ruggedness of a Bruce Willis and the looks of a Brad Pitt, Le Boeuf is comfortable playing the nerdy teenager. This is highlighted by his objection to Einstein's theory of relativity whilst in a physics lectures. Nevertheless the film's real stars are the Transformers themselves.
Optimus Prime returns with all the other oddly shaped and sized machines to provide big battles in bigger locations. No environment is too safe from oblivion and after ruining space, Japan and Ben Affleck's acting career, Egypt is the prime location for Bay to bl0ow shit up.
Along with the U.S. Marines (fronted by Josh Duhmal and Tyrese Gibson), the action is relentless on the viewer. Jumping from location to location, critics suggest that 2 and a half hours is too long for a film that lacks emotional depth. However Bay is merely excersing his right to exploit every angle, trick and sound available before the movie ends.
There is no emphasis on plot nor is there space for memorable acting performances. It's a tribute to an era of special effects no longer hampered by pieces of string hanging from above or painted scenery of the 60's. Transformers 2 is a guaranteed action packed evening at the cinema with definitely no strings attached.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
The English Don’t Have Bad Teeth
The difference between the reality and the fantasy can be extreme. Whether it’s what tent you would like to get on trip or the food you’re going to get at dinner, at camp it can seek out the pessimists from the idealists. For everyone under the age of twelve at Wapomeo it is the latter when it comes to answering one question: who are the two most famous people from England ever?
It’s not current queen Elizabeth II. Not even literary grandfather William Shakespeare. The “correct” answer is Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson. Actors whose anonymity has been stripped from them by Hogwarts in return for the fruits of fortune and fame. The result is a completely fantastical (and utterly ridiculous) view of the stereotypical Englishman. So when they find the tennis floater, washed up on the shores of Ahmek, is a man studying for his Masters instead of his NEWTS and wants to be a journalist not an auror then they are going to be a little disheartened.
It is the same scenario with some female counselors (incidentally who are over twelve) at Wapomeo too. For when Keira Knightley speaks English propa in films like Pride and Prejudice and Atonement she is cementing myths that England still values finishing school and social etiquette rather highly. However this balloon of established actors is weighed down by television shows such as Little Britain and Eastenders which depict a fairer representation.
Chavs in tracksuits. Teenage parents on benefits. Underage drinking (sound familiar?). There is a much more sinister image of England (and probably of Canada) if you are willing to look for it. One not clouded by film and mythical stereotypes. Brendan Fraser doesn’t go around killing mummies in plaid shirts and Hugh Grant doesn’t go “on the pull” equipped with dodgy dentistry. Nevertheless this doesn’t stop these being two of the most fashionable pieces of fiction when it comes to typecasting different nationalities.
Canadians aren’t bearded park rangers equipped with axes to take down bears in Algonquin Park. In Toronto and Montreal life is very different from the rural agenda. This should make pigeon-holing entire nations into one outfit impossible. Wouldn’t you say, eh?
It’s not current queen Elizabeth II. Not even literary grandfather William Shakespeare. The “correct” answer is Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson. Actors whose anonymity has been stripped from them by Hogwarts in return for the fruits of fortune and fame. The result is a completely fantastical (and utterly ridiculous) view of the stereotypical Englishman. So when they find the tennis floater, washed up on the shores of Ahmek, is a man studying for his Masters instead of his NEWTS and wants to be a journalist not an auror then they are going to be a little disheartened.
It is the same scenario with some female counselors (incidentally who are over twelve) at Wapomeo too. For when Keira Knightley speaks English propa in films like Pride and Prejudice and Atonement she is cementing myths that England still values finishing school and social etiquette rather highly. However this balloon of established actors is weighed down by television shows such as Little Britain and Eastenders which depict a fairer representation.
Chavs in tracksuits. Teenage parents on benefits. Underage drinking (sound familiar?). There is a much more sinister image of England (and probably of Canada) if you are willing to look for it. One not clouded by film and mythical stereotypes. Brendan Fraser doesn’t go around killing mummies in plaid shirts and Hugh Grant doesn’t go “on the pull” equipped with dodgy dentistry. Nevertheless this doesn’t stop these being two of the most fashionable pieces of fiction when it comes to typecasting different nationalities.
Canadians aren’t bearded park rangers equipped with axes to take down bears in Algonquin Park. In Toronto and Montreal life is very different from the rural agenda. This should make pigeon-holing entire nations into one outfit impossible. Wouldn’t you say, eh?
Monday, 25 May 2009
[Special Guest Blogger: Fraser Carlisle] So I put down my pen to write...
So. My first blog. The first thing I ponder as I type this late night reflection of my thoughts…. Why am I? Is it some sort of arrogance? Is it a miscalculated notion that what I have to say somehow merits the attention of others? Why in the middle of exams am I dedicating time to giving my time to write two cents’ worth on issues with which the young can I identify, hoping for a ‘oh that’s so true response’?
Or is it perhaps because I see this blog as a stepping stone to writing the World According to Carlisle? Or debating a return to Keynesian fiscal policy in the nation’s broadsheets?
Well the answer is I don’t really know. I suppose its more curiosity. If all the celebs can blog than why can’t I? I confess I am a little late to this web phenomena and as this is my first blog it is perhaps pertinent that I write a blog of self-reflection. A blog about blogs if you like.
The reason for my curiosity is evidently what gives appeal to blogs. A mode of expression that makes us feel like the celebs. And in a society fascinated by celebrity culture; wouldn’t it be nice to feel like one? You don’t have to be competent in the placement of the ‘Oxford Comma’ or abide by the conventions of Standard English. No-one will judge you by looks or accent; only by what you have to say. There aren’t really many rules. You don’t have to scrutinise fiscal policy or the direction of post-modern society, all you have to do is write something interesting.
Therefore now would be an appropriate juncture to ask you, am I interesting you? Well I’d hope so as I’ve nothing left to say. So how did I feel about that first blog? Did I change the world? Did I feel I wrote something worth reading? Did I express myself in the manner I would have liked to? Well if I you’re still reading I can’t have done that bad, particularly as I’ve not really said anything.
It’s an odd feeling laying yourself bare on the Internet for all to judge. Will I write a second blog? Well perhaps this is getting closer to why we write blogs. If people care about what I have to say we feel important and keep writing, if not I’ll be on the scrapheap of millions of failed bloggers. But oh well you have to try everything once.
Or is it perhaps because I see this blog as a stepping stone to writing the World According to Carlisle? Or debating a return to Keynesian fiscal policy in the nation’s broadsheets?
Well the answer is I don’t really know. I suppose its more curiosity. If all the celebs can blog than why can’t I? I confess I am a little late to this web phenomena and as this is my first blog it is perhaps pertinent that I write a blog of self-reflection. A blog about blogs if you like.
The reason for my curiosity is evidently what gives appeal to blogs. A mode of expression that makes us feel like the celebs. And in a society fascinated by celebrity culture; wouldn’t it be nice to feel like one? You don’t have to be competent in the placement of the ‘Oxford Comma’ or abide by the conventions of Standard English. No-one will judge you by looks or accent; only by what you have to say. There aren’t really many rules. You don’t have to scrutinise fiscal policy or the direction of post-modern society, all you have to do is write something interesting.
Therefore now would be an appropriate juncture to ask you, am I interesting you? Well I’d hope so as I’ve nothing left to say. So how did I feel about that first blog? Did I change the world? Did I feel I wrote something worth reading? Did I express myself in the manner I would have liked to? Well if I you’re still reading I can’t have done that bad, particularly as I’ve not really said anything.
It’s an odd feeling laying yourself bare on the Internet for all to judge. Will I write a second blog? Well perhaps this is getting closer to why we write blogs. If people care about what I have to say we feel important and keep writing, if not I’ll be on the scrapheap of millions of failed bloggers. But oh well you have to try everything once.
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Energy Drinks And Electrolytes Make Me Intelligent
Whether it was the image of a girl jogging halfheartedly whilst txting her boyfriend or the fact a linguistics exam was looming, the idea of buying energy drinks for the all nighter that lay ahead became increasingly likely.
From the hyperactive years of my childhood at primary school that culminated in me winning the 100m dash at Sports day in year 6 (I have the badge to prove it!) my energy levels have dwindled since entering grammar school and university. The overkill of revision for exams, working at John Lewis for half the weekend and the weekly Bucks clubbing circuit combo of Litten Tree/Revs is enough to depress, I mean er, deplete any sixth former of their vigor.
In response students and sportsman alike resort to the intake of various energy drinks that are probably the most accessible (and legal) equivalent to steroids. Nevertheless these drinks aren't without controversy and many, like Red Bull, are banned across Europe. The ridiculously high sugar levels in such a small can means that in countries like Sweden it can only be obtained on prescription from a doctor. However this hasn't stopped energy drinks prosper in countries where it is not banned like the U.K.
In England the double vodka and Red Bull is very much the "partygoer's choice" whilst in Scotland, where there are stricter alcohol laws, Pussy is mixed instead. On the drink's website it's branded as "natural energy" and the name alone screams macho to everyone who drinks it. In a club, energy drinks are essential to keep going until that last dancefloor track but every guy knows that Pussy is essential for a good night out!
From the hyperactive years of my childhood at primary school that culminated in me winning the 100m dash at Sports day in year 6 (I have the badge to prove it!) my energy levels have dwindled since entering grammar school and university. The overkill of revision for exams, working at John Lewis for half the weekend and the weekly Bucks clubbing circuit combo of Litten Tree/Revs is enough to depress, I mean er, deplete any sixth former of their vigor.
In response students and sportsman alike resort to the intake of various energy drinks that are probably the most accessible (and legal) equivalent to steroids. Nevertheless these drinks aren't without controversy and many, like Red Bull, are banned across Europe. The ridiculously high sugar levels in such a small can means that in countries like Sweden it can only be obtained on prescription from a doctor. However this hasn't stopped energy drinks prosper in countries where it is not banned like the U.K.
In England the double vodka and Red Bull is very much the "partygoer's choice" whilst in Scotland, where there are stricter alcohol laws, Pussy is mixed instead. On the drink's website it's branded as "natural energy" and the name alone screams macho to everyone who drinks it. In a club, energy drinks are essential to keep going until that last dancefloor track but every guy knows that Pussy is essential for a good night out!
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