Britains Got Talent Last Night

The auditions are coming to a close in the latest series of Britain's Got Talent but this hasn't stopped the general public thinking they have got what it takes to perform in front of the Queen. This week's auditions took place in Manchester and Birmingham and with a flu-stricken Simon Cowell, Louie Walsh was once again called in to headline the judges panel.

The show, being televised on an unfamiliar Sunday night to make way for the Champions League final, was back to showing what variety acts were hoping to garner the applause from the crowd as well as the accolades from the judges. Amongst the "talented" individuals on last night's show were cross dressing Beyonce dancers, diploma boasting piano players and lonely clarinet fifty somethings desperate to navigate their way through the audition stages.

One of these was choir boy, Liam McNally, who struck a chord with the audience and the judges with his rendition of "O Danny Boy". Piers Morgan described him as a "serious contender" and this was backed by the bookies with Paddy Power making the 14 year old second favorite to win the show at odds of 5/1 behind dance troupe Spellbound.

Brummie bouncer, Neil Fullard, was also a big hit with the judges by crooning Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" with the support of his colleagues in the background alongside Ant and Dec. The 42 year old will hope that he has done enough to get through to the semi final stage along with another 39 hopefuls when they are announced on next week's show.

After then the judges and the public will have a much better idea of who will follow in the footsteps of Paul Potts, George Sampson and Diversity and perform in front of Her Majesty.

The Trouble Of Talent-searching TV [written 2008]

"For the last time it is pronounce couple not cuple" There are many things wrong with Saturday night T.V., one is the B.B.C. employing regional accents to boost viewer ratings and the other is I.T.V. for giving false-hope to anyone who thinks they can sing.

Last night Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor finally ended, with certified B-lister Alesha Dixon and miserable Scot Leon Jackson taking the crowns. Both are now, set to serve life sentences of daytime T.V. interviews, re-union shows and in time be part of Never Mind The Buzzcock's "Identity Parade" round.

The two shows ability to spit out (and regurgitate) flagging celebrities back into stardom is quite alarming. More concerning is that these two "talent" shows are now the flagship of reality television. However where The X Factor prides itself upon contestants from families who probably have businesses in the Yellow Pages; Strictly is more class conscious.

This series contestants have been born in the near-Southern counties of Kent, (Kelly Brook), Hertfordshire (Letitia Dean), Suffolk (Brian Chapman). Quintessentially this makes Strictly appeal to the middle class, to people who pay for T.V. licenses, who stay in on Saturday nights. These people won't be at the pub watching Rugby League on Sky Sports but sipping wine in the vicinity of their detached suburban houses. Though there is this evidence of "class consciousness" from the BBC there is always an objection to every rule. In this case it is the humble upbringings of co-presenter Tess Daly from Stockport, North-West England.

Subjects such as Mrs. Vernon Kay conform, as always, to the Beeb's over-used recipe for success. Accents - check, Modified Received Pronunciation - check, ethnic minorities - check, as well as every other grey-area of modern society are all force-fed to the audience. Even the dancers diversify the international void inexistent in the "famed" British celebrities. The females particularly, with surnames such as Kopylova and Cacace, bare skin as if there British passports depended on it.

Even early round contestants of The X Factor all too frequently strip themselves to a naked body of dignity: and thankfully nothing else. When the show reaches its 12 finalists, the judges are all too eager to toot their own horn. Bias never validates public opinion, even if it has been subject to scrutiny because of phone-in scandals in this post-Richard and Judy era. Though this could be beneficial when the Eurovision comes around, at the moment it is de-valuing the term "winner".

The fact that these shows are over-exposed too worries me. What are the B.B.C. doing with taxpayer's money? Strictly ... It Takes Two has a mid-week daily slot whilst The Xtra Factor broadcasts straight after the live show. Though they provide hype and exposure, these "complementary" shows are just surely to fill out presenter's employment contracts.

So whilst the two talent shows are either finding the crème of the British public or of that of flagging celebrities fame status, they are further creating stereotypes of reality t.v., and more worryingly British Culture. Do we really want to see over-weight, tattooed, females on prime-time terrestrial television? Probably yes, but deep down you know it can't be good for foreigners' perceptions of the British.

Up The Bracket Album Dissection [written 2007]

The Libertines debut album Up The Bracket is one to be remembered. Fronted by Pete Doherty, Carl Barat, Gary Powell and John Hassall, the London quartet proves that they are a band to watch in the future with their mixture of punk and rock influences. Produced by the legendary Mick Jones of The Clash, Up The Bracket has re-introduced teenagers to a new concept of rock music.

The mid 90's was a disaster for guitar music as pop became more dominant in the charts and on the shelves. Even the latter 90's of British music was in a state of decline; haunted by the Brit-pop era of Oasis and Blur. However as the sun set on the 20th century, the dawn of modern rock was established. Fronted by The Strokes and The Libertines, a new generation of music was introduced to the media, to the critics, and most importantly to the music-lovers.

The Libertines early intention as a band was to become signed by a major label. When they formed in 2000, they started to gather a following; playing impromptu gigs at band members apartments. Not only did this make a strong foundation of friendship with their fans but helped put across their image. This image was soon strengthened as Doherty used the Internet as an alternative means of communication with his fans. This act illustrated two things. The influence Doherty could have on people through the message boards, and that he could always be in touch with someone. As the release of Up The Bracket came, The Libertines following increased dramatically as their scheduled gigs soon became fast sell outs. Mick Jones realized he had started a revolution, just like he had done with The Clash.

Despite the two major influences on Up The Bracket of Carl Barat and Pete Doherty, the ex-front man of The Clash shows up notably on one track. Horror Show is a brilliant song captivating the punk roots of the band. "Sharply screw myself to death". The visceral lyrics of Horror Show talk about the effects of alcohol and drugs on the body. Although Doherty knew of their consequences he would continue to keep using throughout the band's journey. The range of genres covered in Up The Bracket meant they could appeal to all sides of the spectrum. The parallels of alcohol and drugs that are so evident between The Clash and The Libertines were what made Mick Jones the perfect person to produce the perfect album.

Up The Bracket's release in 2002 was surrounded by the returns of both Foo Fighter and Coldplay. Therefore the band did not get the press coverage it deserved. But did they want the press coverage? As no one knew who the band was, preconceptions were hard to be made by any of the newspapers. They could only be judged on what they sounded like. Today everyone knows Pete Doherty as that addicted junkie who went out with Kate Moss. However from songs like Boys In The Band and The Good Old Days it was clear he knew how to write a song that could have many levels of interpretation. Boys In The Band is a brilliant post-modern tune, which is an ode to the groupie. "And they all get them out ... for the boys in the band" The arrogance of such a chorus leads the listener to assume it's talking about the sex. However according to the band's biography, The Libertines: Bound Together, it is more about the alcohol. About a week after the release of Up The Bracket the band were launched.

As everyone became accustomed to the excess number of gigs, drugs and alcohol surrounding the album, soon the visions of Doherty and Barat surfaced. I Get Along is a definite highlight which uses the clearest of vocals of Barat to send a message to the band's critics. "People tell me I'm wrong ... fuck 'em". The lyrics define what a Libertine is - a free thinker. There were no rules, and no place in society for The Libertines and in Doherty's case it gave him the ability to do what he wanted, when he wanted.

Starting to treat himself (and Barat) to various drugs, the media were soon constantly surrounding the band. Doherty whose influences range from Emily Bronte to Morrissey, believed that he was on the ship "Albion" which sailed to "Arcadia" - where there are no rules or authority. The vision is instantly recognizable in (name of song) off Up The Bracket. (Up The Bracket lyrics insert here). Doherty resembles his vision as the journey of The Libertines, but as he and Barat became increasingly aware of each others presence other terms soon developed. "Death On The Stairs" is both a song and a phrase (thought up by Barat) to define people who grow old and do nothing but watch television. "Don't bring that ghost around to my door" The song illustrates how the band wanted to be kept as far away from the term as possible. Ironically the band, especially Pete, would indulge in the drugs and the alcohol which would lead to their demise. But at that moment The Libertines could do no wrong.

The majority of their praise came from the major music magazines, front lined by NME who crowned them best breakthrough band in 2002. The Libertines were propelled into the fast-life involving drink, drugs and gigs. Yet they were still able to establish a relationship with there fans. Time For Heroes demonstrates how they saw themselves as "the rescuer" of there own generation - "We'll die in the class we were born". Doherty's attitude seemed to demonstrate how the band was more for the music than for the money. Although being made up of a drummer, a bassist, and two on guitar, The Libertines still made their intentions heard on Up The Bracket. The different rhythms accompanied to each song on the album showed that they were a raw talent.

The distinctive voice of The Libertines was not how they sounded, but what they said. To communicate with their audience, some of the songs used very colloquial lyrics. "What a divvy, what a fucking divvy" Doherty use of bad language didn't make any of the songs sound violent, but instead more intelligent. In What A Waster (the debut single) Doherty despite having 6 A* grades and 5 A's at GCSE, used very colloquial expressions. This turned out to be a stroke of genius. Although heavily criticised by almost everyone, What A Waster captivated its teenage audience. The debut song had managed to do what punk and rock 'n roll was all about - get them heard nationally and piss off everyone at the same time.

The Libertine's Up The Bracket not only re-introduced rock music from a different perspective, but proved to be a catalyst for the younger generations. Currently Bloc Party, Arctic Monkeys and The Kooks are helping proceed with what The Libertines had started - getting more and more teens to enjoy music, and the life that comes with it.

Los Campesinos Gig Review [written 2007]

If half term is about procrastination then Los Campesinos! are doing it best. Based at Cardiff University, the Welsh septet last night played the ULU as a part of a mammoth 22 date Winter Tour. Supported by electro-indie act Attack + Defend and Canadian dance-punks You Say Party! We Say Die! everyone was getting ready to time waste. Yet with band names containing Spanish, addition signs and exclamation marks, the night was gearing up to be a long lesson in music.

With an 800 standing capacity, the ULU could have been described as a punishment for rocking on your chair. Instead the dance floor stood-out like a hollow classroom, the bar an alcoholic canteen and the stage a moving blackboard. All left that was needed were the teachers. However with tickets costing £12.50, most were educating the high-art halls of the Electric Proms and we had to make do with the substitutes.

First act A + D came on whilst many students deliberately turned up late. They were greeted to the sound of chalk-against-board screeching from keyboards of lead brother Mark Thomas. What followed was, with each song, a concoction of noises that sounded like it had been produced in a lab only to have been welded in a tech room. Certainly idiosyncratic, for many it was just a painful wake up call for pop-punks You Say Party! We Say Die!

However even that wasn't needed. Powering into the song "The Gap" the band instantly gained an audience worthy of any General Studies lecture. The only difference was that people were enjoying this kind of music. Promoting new single "Like I Give A Care" (and a poor use of English) lead singer Becky Ninconovic strutted with a personality of a foxx. Bassist Stephen O'Shea along with his Johnny Borrell white jeans sprung across the classroom before hand-clapping the audience into submission from a wall of amps above.

Fast paced, fun, frantic, YSP! WSD! were everything A + D weren't. Their last practical of the night was a "show and tell" session with LC! who joined them on track "Falling Out" It was from this that brought out, finally, some strangled movement from the crowd. Though other pleasures were enjoyed that night, the satisfaction of a worthy supporting act only was heightened by the intimacy of the event.

It was clear that LC! were in danger of being over-shadowed. But with a unique blend of violins, keyboards, drums, guitars and glockenspiels they weren't going to go quietly. New single "The International Tweex Core Underground" came across as a tale of post graduate love told in the innocence of boy/girl vocals. With each track, the audience was becoming more manic and this wasn't just because it was nearing the end of the day. Crowd favorite "You! Me! Dancing!" sparked a frenzy whilst various handclap routines raised hands as if it were a Q&A session.

No doubt LC! proved by the end of the night they have a flawless formula for making good, catchy music (A + D take note). However being a substitute is only a part-time job, and certainly one you don't want to be living for ever.

Wolfmother Gig Review [written 2007]

Resurrecting the dead is hard to do in music. The Libertines did it with punk, Klaxons did it with rave and now Wolfmother have done it with heavy metal. The axe-wielding Aussie trio performed at Hammersmith Apollo last night proving that giant afros, cryptic lyrics and hammering guitar solos are certainly not just a thing of the past.

In front of a sell out audience it was hard not to feel sorry for the people sitting on the balcony above. Supporting their self-titled debut and armed with a wall of amps on each side, it was obvious why people were queuing at the ends rather than in the middle. Entering the stage, lead singer Andrew Stockdale's trademark 'fro and white waistcoat were worth the entrance fee alone, and the band were certainly ready to rock.

Kicking off with "Dimension" the audience were full of energy, full of vigor and Stockdale even more so. Darting across the stage, shaking his hips the lead man dictated the moves of the audience with every riff of his Gibson SG. Swaying forwards, backwards, side to side, keyboardist and bassist Chris Ross brought his own style to the stage interacting with the audience at every opportunity.

As the night progressed, the moshing turned up a notch when Stockdale tore into Led Zep classic "Communication Breakdown". Playing it, it would be no surprise if Page and Plant were ancestors of the Wolfmother front man. Indeed Plant could have been a long lost brother of Stockdale's; with "Mind's Eye" illustrating he can hit the highest of notes.

As the night came to a close the band went off almost expecting for the audience wanting them to come back on. They obliged and launched into an encore climaxing with hit single "Joker And The Thief". Although the audience left temporarily deaf, Wolfmother proved that resurrecting the dead is definitely a loud and yet stylish process to master.

Music Review of 2006 [written 2007]

It was a year that saw pop music decline, music sites prosper and a Sheffield act take complete domination; 2006 was a productive year for everyone involved in British music. Bands were reforming & reintroducing themselves, and whilst most collected music awards few gained entrance to the annual Hall Of Fame event at Earls Court. Whether it was on television, on the internet or at festivals all year round bands were propelling themselves towards stardom.

And none other so than the Arctic Monkey's, headed by Alex Turner, showed how a band could gain national attention; collect the Mercury Prize, and have two no.1 singles all whilst sparking a guitar-rock revival. Their unique take on college-life for a teen gained them a wide audience leading to the no. 1 fastest selling album: ever. And spearheaded by the successes of The Kooks, Snow Patrol, Fratellis and Kasabian they all began to eat away into pop's inner sanctum - the U.K. Top 40. Aided by the fall of Top Of The Pops and the crumbling of Smash Hits!; overall 2006 was a bad year for pop. Girl groups like Sugababes and Girls Aloud found the shoes were too big to fill, and despite desperate reforms of Take That and All Saints, pop had been struck a belting blow from rock both commercially and nationally in 2006.

In fact the biggest punch may have been by the under-estimated power of the Internet. As Pete Doherty had already exploited with The Libertines the Internet was a powerful tool for communication. Yet the rise and rise of sites like Myspace and Youtube added with the increased use of peer-to-peer illegal software have had just as critical affect on the music scene. On one hand, it was a major gain for unsigned acts who could post free demos online (sound familiar Arctic Monkeys?) in hope of a label catching on. And though the contribution of mp3 players' sales supplemented the success of "downloading", more and more people became aware of the phenomenon as the year grew on. Regardless of this, the more negative effect of "downloading" has lead to heavy losses for the four biggest labels (Universal, Sony, EMI and Warner) as people became more selective on what music they listen to in 2006. Yet although counter-measures have been put in place - stricter laws and download charts - at the moment the Internet is winning its battle against the CD. However 2007 will be the only ground to find out whether digital music stays on course and win the war to kill off the CD.

Nevertheless don't go thinking that 2006 was all doom & gloom, because as the B.P.I. got to work over the summer, the rest of us were out gigging across the whole country. Whether it was at - Oxygen, V Festival, T in the Park, Isle Of Wight or the Carling Weekend - none were short of living up to expectation. Supported by global acts like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Pearl Jam along with local headliners such as The Who and Kaiser Chiefs, gigging had a whole new meaning in 2006. Furthermore helped by the BBC and MTV, television (and radio) brought yet more extensive coverage for live music as well as for over-seas excursions like Benicassim and SXSW. Nevertheless back in the U.K. bands were touring to their fullest extent, and even Bob Dylan restarted his Never Ending Tour with gig no.1811 through to 1912. Though the sold-out scene of Brixton Academy became as frequent as the number of times Pete Doherty had been in rehab, sites all over the U.K. were to witness new talent spawning from the modern age of music.

In part this has been down to the variety of music that has become more popular throughout the year. "Emo" (short for emotional) defined as "a sub-genre of punk" has become contagious amongst adolescents and whilst parents are alien to it, it is creating real divisions. Fronted by acts like Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance, whom speak of "cut my [their] wrists and black my [their] eyes" talk about the portrayals of love mixed with violent actions. And as well as affecting haircut, appearance and fashion "emo" was not the only genre to have affected us in 2006. Although not as commercial, goth under-went a mini-revival in the form of The Horrors whilst The Klaxons even front lined the creation of their own genre - new rave. The London quartet armed with glow sticks + red bull created havoc inside the Carling Tent at Reading and Leeds, have released four singles on Marok Records even cracking the U.K. top 40 showing just any type of music was breaking into the charts. Yes, it seemed everyone on the alternative music circuit was trying to create their own gimmick. And with The Long Blondes adding a retro 50's fashion look, Wolfmother reviving 70's heavy metal (accompanied with big 'fro) 2006 was all about one thing - gettin' noticed.

Indeed whether it was to accessorize, to fashionize, or in many cases to plagiarize 2006 was full of surprises. Whether it was The Libertines re-uniting (only for a drinking session) or Bono going to Africa, one thing was clear in 2006: ships are ready to set sail. Despite what lies ahead for many, most paths being unwritten, tails of fame and fortune are going to lead some into the life of showbiz. Although the perception on the rise to fame is a pleasant one, the demise can often be overlooked and for 2007 inevitably some ships are just going to sink.

Modernizing The iBeatles

It’s 2006, Friday night, at the pub, huddled around a table, the mood is tense and the next question of the General Knowledge round of the pub quiz has just been announced. “What are the three biggest bands that are not currently on iTunes?” bellows the bartender. Everyone at my table looks around cluelessly at each other utterly stumped. Fifteen minutes later the answer is revealed aloud to us: Radiohead, Led Zeppelin and The Beatles.

It’s 2009 and only one of those bands is still not on the biggest legal music library (and it isn’t one of the first two).

For all of the multi-platinum selling albums, the Fab Four have still sold zero legal downloads and it is a telling sign to their today listeners that, after nearly forty years on from their last new release of material, the band are aging. So much so that their fans would probably be more aptly described as yesterday’s listeners rather than today’s. And it is this chasm between the two that has hindered the chances of The Beatles morphing from teenage heart throbs to wise and fashionable elders.

As a result McCartney, Ringo, Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison have leveled with today’s listeners and gamers and commissioned the release of the video game Beatles: Rockband as well as all thirteen remastered studio albums. It is a facelift that would put the likes of Jordan and Kerry Katona to shame for it commemorates the realization of a generation gap. Electronic, plastic guitars have replaced electric ones and dad’s dusty vinyl player sits in the loft untouched. Instead iPods assert the MP3’s status over records, cassettes and even compact discs which have all been pushed to extinction.

This has left The Beatles to slowly adapt to their new technologically enhanced environment by themselves like in a David Attenborough nature documentary. Scurrying around the soil finding new and exciting means to survive, and it is in this forest that game consoles run wild and now live in harmony with various insects. There
is no denying that, on release, these two entities will deepen The Beatle’s canon but can they evolve it?

There is that sinking feeling that whilst Beatles: Rockband is taking two steps forward, the remastered CD’s are just another step back. A triumph for tangible products everywhere it maybe, sound engineers who worked on the remastering process would hark on about being thankful for what you get. An acknowledgement that perhaps the feud between Apple Corps and the remaining Beatles (and remain partners) is ruining their best chances of new era popularity on iTunes.

However the mp3 format isn’t for everyone. Sgt Peppers is technically a concept album and it is hard to see how parts of The White Album (Wild Honey Pie is just 53 seconds long) and Abbey Road (especially side 2) can work as single track downloads. The same goes with the tracklist on Rockband. There are only a couple off of Revolver (arguably their best LP) as all of its tracks have such complexity that it cannot be restricted to just a plugin & play drum kit, two guitars and a bass. The production of any Beatles record is just as, if not more, important than the performers.

“Make us sound like were underwater” famously asked John Lennon of producer George Martin when recording Yellow Submarine. Such acid heavy, LSD inspired sessions involving band and Abbey Road engineers (labcoats and all) have almagamated everything from three-part harmonies (all of Please Please Me), to backward guitars (Tomorrow Never Knows) and even orchestral pop (Eleanor Rigby). The fact that these songs are four decades old and still popular proves that no matter what product, design or format those four lovable Liverpudlians take it is their songs that has and will make them that unreachable pinnacle of music.

Looking down from university and onto The Inbetweeners.

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